According to CDC government statistics, 40% of children in the US are born to unmarried parents. How does that impact the way we do children’s and family ministry? How does that change the way the church does outreach to their community? Do you think that percentage will shrink or grow?
Well, in the area we live in (the 10th poorest county in the nation), 70% of households do not include a married couple. Teen pregnancy is very high. The majority of fathers are not connected to their children (but, to be fair, there are some really great ones who are).
For as heart-breaking and challenging as this is, this presents a great opportunity for ministry. It may take a while to build that child’s trust, but with time and patience, those children will grow in appreciation and respect to any adult figure who cares for them.
That, combined with the high divorce rates, has to change the way we do ministry. More than anything, we need to be prepared. As God has led me in to ministering to children of divorce and children from single parent families, I have been astounded by how little this issue is really talked about in the church and talked about in children’s ministry circles. We have to be prepared to minister to these kids because they are already in our ministries. We spend so much time trying to keep up on things like kids’ culture and the latest video games they are playing, and yet we all but ignore the issue of divorce and single-parent families. I think that, perhaps, it has become so commonplace that we have lulled ourselves in thinking that it doesn’t require specific attention – it’s just part of the mix. You know, some kids are home schooled, some aren’t. Some kids watch more tv than others. Some kids are allowed to read Harry Potter, some aren’t. Some kids come from divorced or single-parent homes, some don’t. Instead of addressing the issue head on, we just let it be part of “the mix.” We need to take time to evaluate whether or not our ministries are prepared to minister to these kids and they’re families. That’s exactly why I wrote this article a couple of days ago on why divorce should matter to those who minister to children and students – http://divorceministry4kids.com/2012/why-divorce-should-matter-to-those-who-minister-to-children-and-students/
Well, by looking at the report you refer to, it certainly looks like the percentage of children born to unwed mothers is only going to grow. I guess I did not realize just how high the percentage truly is! Thanks for pointing this out.
The fact of the matter is, we cannot safely assume anything about a child besides that (s)he is a child, (s)he is an individual with individual needs–and one of those needs is Jesus. It should be a given, but we must always present a balanced view of the Gospel. Sin must be called by its right name, but at the same time, God’s love and mercy for the sinner must always be right alongside.
I looked at the article that Wayne Stocks shared above, too. It is definitely worth a read!
~Sheila
Great perspective Sheila!
Great perspective Sheila!
Awesome article Wayne. Thanks for sharing!
Awesome article Wayne. Thanks for sharing!
Joey, I agree. There are HUGE ministry opportunities available here! Thanks for the note.
Joey, I agree. There are HUGE ministry opportunities available here! Thanks for the note.
I completely agree that there is an amazing opportunity with children’s ministry. I am currently stepping into a new ministry position. It has been unfilled for over a year and the church is looking for a complete overhaul. It is great to have a blank canvas to work with.
I have some thoughts that are fresh on my mind now that I have been in planning mode. I’ll just highlight one big one here. The #1 opportunity I see in children’s ministry is the lack of family. Let me explain.
When I was a kid, even though I grew up in a divorced home, I had a strong family around me. I had my grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. I also had the support of my church;specifically a man that ran one of the kids programs that invested a lot of time into me and allowed me to share in his family’s experiences.
So what’s the point? The “family” has changed and we can’t do anything about it. But what also has changed since we were kids is the “extended family”. When I was a kid, all my relatives lived near by. We ate dinner together, celebrated holidays together and were there for each other in times of need. Most kids don’t have that today. People are spread all over the country and with the lack of connectedness in families (divorce, unwed couples and other single parent environments) it has also disrupted the extended family connection. This is the opportunity we have. We can build extended families.
As I work on developing this Fall and the changes that I will be making it has become more than just running a good program. God has given a big and wide vision. One that all children’s ministers should consider. We need to minister to the whole family, not just the child. All of our efforts and programs should be creating an environment that strategically develop a community of families. This community will fill in the gap of the lost extended family. One where families come together and live life together, sharing in the good and the bad. Being there for one another. Encouraging, strengthening and teaching each other. It’s also an opportunity where, I believe, that we will see not just kids coming to Christ but whole families.
I completely agree that there is an amazing opportunity with children’s ministry. I am currently stepping into a new ministry position. It has been unfilled for over a year and the church is looking for a complete overhaul. It is great to have a blank canvas to work with.
I have some thoughts that are fresh on my mind now that I have been in planning mode. I’ll just highlight one big one here. The #1 opportunity I see in children’s ministry is the lack of family. Let me explain.
When I was a kid, even though I grew up in a divorced home, I had a strong family around me. I had my grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. I also had the support of my church;specifically a man that ran one of the kids programs that invested a lot of time into me and allowed me to share in his family’s experiences.
So what’s the point? The “family” has changed and we can’t do anything about it. But what also has changed since we were kids is the “extended family”. When I was a kid, all my relatives lived near by. We ate dinner together, celebrated holidays together and were there for each other in times of need. Most kids don’t have that today. People are spread all over the country and with the lack of connectedness in families (divorce, unwed couples and other single parent environments) it has also disrupted the extended family connection. This is the opportunity we have. We can build extended families.
As I work on developing this Fall and the changes that I will be making it has become more than just running a good program. God has given a big and wide vision. One that all children’s ministers should consider. We need to minister to the whole family, not just the child. All of our efforts and programs should be creating an environment that strategically develop a community of families. This community will fill in the gap of the lost extended family. One where families come together and live life together, sharing in the good and the bad. Being there for one another. Encouraging, strengthening and teaching each other. It’s also an opportunity where, I believe, that we will see not just kids coming to Christ but whole families.